Rabu, Januari 22, 2020

Often or always? Or is it me? Actually, this kind of topic kind of annoying and boring. It is just- continuously- repeated in every season. On Twitter, in real life, in my circle.  About a statement by Sinta Nuriyah (Gusdur's wife), which is a jilbab for a woman, is not obligatory.

I just want to wear a jilbab, I never know before that jilbab is obligatory for a woman in Islam because there are so many women out there who are not Islam also wear it. I know that I have to cover my body and wear something in polite ways.
I like to wear it since my childhood and my parents never ask me to wear a jilbab, except when I go to TPA (a place for studying Qur'an). The time when I am attending junior high school, I think I want to wear a uniform with jilbab so that I tell my mother to pay more for the outfit because it needs more material. At that time, jilbab like a minority, and out of 100 girls, only 6 girls who wear jilbab. Well, at that time. I think that people see me differently because of my jilbab. But that doesn't matter because what they believe does not matter for me either. Yeah, sometimes I am disappointed in some ways because of the judgment they made because of my jilbab.
Honestly, I don't overthink it. I like to wear it. I am not commanded by someone. Simply, when I want to wear, I wear it, and when I do not feel comfortable, I release it. Yes, I am not joking. I just do not tell the world through my social media like hey this is me when I am in my casual styles. I am never intended to wear my casual dress for people so that they can judge who really I am.
I am not in a position where I want to show how normally I dress. Since then, mostly, my style is casual and boyish. When I am in a casual outfit, usually, I am wearing an oversized tee, culotte jeans, jacket, and a hat. I am not comfortable to expose my skin or wear something fit to the body. I prefer someone who can act with an attitude, not judgemental. I never want praise from other people like you more pretty if you wear a jilbab because I do not want approval from others to be called beautiful. You will make your parent a sinner if you are not wearing a jilbab, but I am not that close with them to talk about sin, heaven, and hell. And that thing is the only thing that God can decide. I do not have any intention to make my appearance better in people’s eyes. Either I am wearing jilbab or my casual style.
Why am I wearing a jilbab?
Because I want to. You can try so many colors. You do not have to think about hairstyles and bad day hair. Jilbab like devotion to me, and I am not that too, so I wear it. My religion arranges how people dress and behave, but people in my faith act like a god and arrange what kind of dress they have to wear. Maybe that’s religion, and religion is binding for someone, so if you don't want to bind ya, you know.
I want to learn about my beliefs, and then I got a friend of mine. I want to talk about so many things that happen like discussion, maybe a history and then a book and other fun stuff. But they always warn me and command me, do not friend with a man, should wearing a skirt and your jilbab have to cover your front of the body. Do not communicate with him in private ways; you should cover your body because it commands from god.
Actually, I am more conservative amongst my friends. I am not into a relationship, I am not into enjoying a private chat with the opposite sex, I have no intention to show my curvy body, I am just into learn about history and religion book. Because of that, I feel annoyed and yeah, friend still friend tho.
I don’t give a shit about what they feel about me. I just feel disappointed in them, or they disappointed in me. I do have friends who wear jilbab and suddenly take it, there is an opinion that she got a mental illness. She is a sinner. Or they literally have gone mad because they do not wear headcover. You should know, it is not suddenly, it's just you are not that close with her, and not that close when she takes down too. So, you don't have to judge them by their appearance, please! Hey, they don't change their religion. So save your energy, you have so many things to do in life. You have to pay your bills, right? Do not be judgemental, please?
Well, it's okay tho. You can judge people who you want because it does not matter for them either. Friends still friends. You still you. Just please be healthy because you have so many things to do, like commenting and judging about women's appearance until you forget about your worship.
As a woman, I feel that I was born as a sinner, not as a "precious" person. Some of them feeling insecure about how I usually dress even tho I am wearing jilbab so that they ask me to literally cover my body so that my body does not tempt or lure the opposite sex. Is it a joke? Am I trying to seduce someone? With an oversized tee and an oversized jacket? 
Is it okay to say that jilbab is not obligatory? It is not okay event tho in my simple way if you are a Muslim woman you should (not have to) wear jilbab because jilbab is an identification. But the fact that it comes out from a person who has a follower like Sinta (Gusdur's wife) and her daughter kind of sad. I hope that so many people still curios so that they looking for the answer about jilbab. Is it obligatory or not. So in their process of seeking the truth, they can find it by herself. Because of the statement, I hope people still curious about trying the meaning of jilbab for women and find the best answer for them.

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